"Slamming" Doors and the Wonder of Upstairs Neighbors

When I got to the bar last night, I had a moment of dread, because I realized that I did, in fact, want the Sox to sweep and I had gone and made it harder by not wearing my smelly 2004 World Series socks and my smell Jason Varitek t-shirt. Thank god they rely less on me than they do on each other!

How great was that win?!?

So, on the way home from the bar, Nikki and I did our best rendition of the Papelbon Irish jig to every passing car. Great fun. Though not so great on the bar-food filled stomach topped off with a bit of hard cider. There is nothing like winning a championship to bring a community together for that fleeting moment. It's surreal and wonderful, the tragedy is that we can't find other things to bring us together in euphoria.

Okay. I'm changing the subject and the thing is that you can't stop me, what with this being my blog and all. I'm changing it for a reason. Maybe even two. First, because I'm mostly speechless about the Sox, and second, because this crazy thing is happening in my building. It goes like this.

I live on the first floor of a typical three-family abode in Jamaica Plain: three floors, three apartments. Yesterday I found a note in our mailbox from our upstairs neighbor that read as follows:

Hi downstairs neighbors--

Could you please, please, please not slam your front door? Especially very early in the morning and very late at night, it's quite disturbing as I sleep right above your entry way. If the door needs to be fixed, please let David know. Thanks so much,

Steve, Apt. 2

Sweet Dreams!

Number one, there's nothing wrong with the door (the lock's a little sticky, but that's beside the point). Number two, if we ever slammed our door this might be a reasonable note for us to receive. But we're not really a door-slamming kind of folk. It's a front door. It has weather-stripping all around it to keep out the wind and other elements, and with such, has to be pulled shut into its casing...kind of like most front doors. It does that "fwump" thing into its frame; it might even shake the house a little...much as their front door does. It's true, one of my housemates leaves the house every day at 6:45...to go to her place of employment helping troubled youth. And finally, none of us come home past 11 on any normal night.

So, my question is this: what the fuck, Steve?

The other thing that adds nicely to this scenario is that Steve has a habit of building things--like with hammers and sanders and shit--in his room, so that we often have to turn up our television just to hear it. And that his room is an add-on; they wanted to cut down on their rent so they converted the space above our entry way into a bedroom. And one of them is a loud-walker. An all hours of the night loud-walker. And my room is situated just under the stairs, so I hear them every time they come or go. In other words, they aren't exactly quiet neighbors themselves.

But let me be clear about one thing: I have lived here for over two years and we have never left them a note about the noise they make. Mostly because we live in an apartment and other people's noise is one of those things that just kind of comes with apartment dwelling, right? I mean, if we were having raging parties at all hours on a regular basis, practicing our drumset (which we don't have...this is just an example) every night at 11, having screaming fights on a weekly basis, etc., well, then you might have an actual cause for leaving such a note. But asking people to not come into or out of their home unless you are fully through with your sleepy time is just insane. I mean, honestly, if you are stupid enough to choose to take a room above somebody's front door, you're going to have to deal with the consequences.

The thing is, now I feel like I have to respond. If I don't respond he's going to assume we are "slamming" the door on purpose (which, I will admit, my housemate did do this morning just cuz she was so annoyed by his note). If I respond as I do here, he'll feel all attacked and shit. It's important to me to have a good neighborly relationship with the neighbors. It makes for much easier living all the way around. But why are people so inept at seeing themselves? How is it that he can't deduce through the sheer fact of him living above us that we deal with his noise every day, too? Why pick this fight?

So here's the note I think I'm going to write him:

Dear Steve,

We're sorry our front door is keeping you from sleep. We can certainly try to be quieter in the closing of it, but we want to assure you that we don't "slam" our door and there's nothing wrong with it...it's just a front door, surrounded by weather-stripping and encased in its original wood frame. In fact, it sounds exactly like your front door when it closes (which we hear, too). I know it's annoying to hear your neighbors (the stairs to your apartment are along the wall of one of our bedrooms, so we hear all your comings and goings, too), but unfortunately, that's just part of apartment living.

If you're really concerned about it and want to ask David if he can do something about it, please feel free. We just don't think there's anything actually wrong with it.

Best,

Your upstairs neighbors

Diplomatic, right? I'd just like to state for the record that if this starts a pissing match, I'm all in. I'm not one to back away from childish behavior. But sometimes it just seems like playing at adults just makes more sense.

I'll keep you posted.